In the Hands of the Living: Lanae Strovers' Unexpected Calling To The Funeral Business

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of Maxwell’s Iowa CoffeeCast, I sit down with Lanae Strovers, a trailblazing funeral director and founder of The Final Salute, a nonprofit dedicated to honoring unclaimed veterans with proper burials. Lanae shares the unlikely and emotional journey that led her into the world of funeral service—starting with a close friend’s impersonal and disappointing funeral experience that left her searching for a better way.

“I was a bartender and single mom, just getting by,” Lanae recalls. “After my friend’s funeral, which had nothing to do with who he was, I went home, had a couple glasses of wine, and Googled ‘how to become a funeral director.’” That late-night search led to DMACC’s mortuary science program and ultimately to a life of service she never expected.

Lanae opens up about the surprising aspects of her profession, from the clinical precision of embalming and restorative art to the emotional challenges of grief-stricken families. She emphasizes that “the living people are the hard part,” recalling moments when grief turned into misplaced anger—she’s been yelled at, punched, even had shoes thrown at her. Yet, she remains steadfast in her belief that funeral service is a gift: “We give families that one last, beautiful goodbye.”

We dive into the creativity required in modern funeral services—like designing a baseball-themed visitation or granting a man’s final wish to be buried standing up. These aren’t just quirky anecdotes—they're proof of how funeral professionals like Lanae work to make end-of-life celebrations as unique as the lives they honor.

Lanae also shares the remarkable story behind The Final Salute, her effort to locate, claim, and respectfully bury the unclaimed cremated remains of veterans across Iowa. “We’ve laid to rest 70 veterans and their spouses so far,” she says. “Last year alone, we honored veterans from every major U.S. war era—including one from the Civil War.”

She talks about the growing role of women in the funeral industry, her national training work, and her upcoming fundraiser to support The Final Salute’s continued mission. As Lanae puts it, “Being in a basement isn’t where a veteran belongs. They deserve a headstone, a flag, and a final salute.”

This is a conversation that’s both eye-opening and deeply moving—a testament to one woman’s mission to bring dignity, empathy, and even creativity to life’s most difficult moments.